Lesson 13 Journal

The person I choose to consult with to edit my paper was a MBA student at UAF. His name is Bobby Weaver. The reason I choose to consult with is first off, he is my cousin, and secondly, I have read his writings before and I know he is a good writer and can offer constructive criticism on my writing.

He offered me some good advice. First off, he told me that I need to watch my comma usage. He said that on occasion, I use them too often and it makes it seem as if I am writing run-on sentences. I then re-read my paper and realized that he was right on point with his observation.

The next piece of advice he offered me was that I needed to re write my conclusion paragraph. Right now, it basically just re-states my introductory paragraph, when it should do that, but also show the main points of my essay. Conclusion paragraphs have always been the hardest part of writing for me. I have never really been taught how to write one, so in my next english classes that is one element of my writing that I would really like to work on.

After he told me these suggestions, I then went and re-read many of my essays which I have written for this class, and found a common theme between most of them: they all possesed many of the errors that he pointed out on. In the future, I will surely not make these same mistakes.

He also corrected some gramatical mistakes that I made, and I was very thankful for that.