Lesson 15 Journal

I think I am supposed to post my writing resume and the letter, so that is what I am going to do...

Bryan Gundersen

Romina Kline

Engl. 111

15 Dec. 2009

Academic Writing Resume

Fall 2009 English 111x

· “Learning is a Privalage”: Wrote a 3 page comparative essay on “I Just Wanna Be Average” by Mike Rose and "From Social Class and the Hidden Curriculum of Work” by Gene Anyon.

· “Union’s Across America”: Wrote a 3 page argumentative essay dealing with workers unions in America and how they are still beneficial.

· “Economic Class in America: The Truth”: Wrote a 3 ½ page essay discussing whether Greg Mantsios’ essay “Class in America-2003”, and “Studs Terkel,” by Stephen Cruz, were persuasive, accurate, and well-written.

· “Overpaid Athletes: The Truth”: Wrote 7 page research paper discussing how professional athletes are overpaid.

Spring 2009 Advanced Placement American Government

· “Lobbyism”: Wrote a 2 page essay on the pro’s and con’s of lobbyism in the American Government

Fall 2008 Early British Literature

· “Beowulf: An Interpretation”: Wrote a 3 page essay on the underlying messages in the story

Spring 2008 English 11

· “The Life of Ray Bourque”: Wrote a 3 page research paper on the life of the Professional Hockey Player Ray Bourque

Spring 2008 English 11

· “Grandma: How She Changed my Life for the Better”: wrote a 5 paragraph essay on 3 ways my grandma changed my life for the better while she was still alive

Additional Writing Experience

May 2009-

August 2009 Gundersen Painting, Secretary/Shop Foreman

· Wrote and edited e-mails for my boss

April 2009 Lathrop High School Hockey Banquet

· Prepared and presented a 10 minute speech

Outside of school I have had almost zero writing experience. Over the next few years I will gain more experience outside of school due to the fact that I will have a more in depth role in my parents company.

Lesson 15 Journal

I think I am supposed to post my writing resume and the letter, so that is what I am going to do...

December 15, 2009

Bryan Gundersen

Student

University of Alaska Fairbanks

758 Old Richardson Highway

Fairbanks, AK 99701

Dear Dad,

Thank you for taking time out of your busy day to read this letter. Throughout the letter I will be introducing myself to you not as your son, but as a writer. I will be mentioning some of my writing accomplishments, as well as how far I have come as a writer since I first enrolled in my freshman level English class.

Before this class, my writing accomplishments were slim to none. I had written very few essays in high school due to the fact that I did not take challenging English classes. Since enrolling in College I have become a much more complete and accomplished writer. I have now written my first essay that is over five pages (a seven page research paper), multiple three to five page essays, and an assortment of essays for other classes. For my business class I had to write ten 150 to 300-word essays, and I also had to write two essays for my political economy class.

This class has made me a much more complete writer. Before entering in the class, I could barely write a three-page essay. Now it is within my grasp to write a ten-page essay. Not only can I write longer essays, but I now have the ability to thoroughly analyze essays written by other people. I also am more careful in my word choice and sentence structure. This class has allowed me to expand my vocabulary. Lastly, this class has showed me how to specifically write for academics.

Once again, thank you Dad for allowing me to share my writing experiences with you. Without you, I would not have been able to get as far as I have. I thank you for that.

Sincerely,

Bryan Gundersen

Bryan Gundersen

University of Alaska Fairbanks Student

Lesson 14 Journal

There is one thing and one thing only that I wish I had done differently with this essay: not put it off until the last minute. It was extremely foolish of me to do this, and I most likely sacrificed some quality of work by putting it off for so long. It is one mistake that I will be sure to not make again.

Lesson 13 Journal

The person I choose to consult with to edit my paper was a MBA student at UAF. His name is Bobby Weaver. The reason I choose to consult with is first off, he is my cousin, and secondly, I have read his writings before and I know he is a good writer and can offer constructive criticism on my writing.

He offered me some good advice. First off, he told me that I need to watch my comma usage. He said that on occasion, I use them too often and it makes it seem as if I am writing run-on sentences. I then re-read my paper and realized that he was right on point with his observation.

The next piece of advice he offered me was that I needed to re write my conclusion paragraph. Right now, it basically just re-states my introductory paragraph, when it should do that, but also show the main points of my essay. Conclusion paragraphs have always been the hardest part of writing for me. I have never really been taught how to write one, so in my next english classes that is one element of my writing that I would really like to work on.

After he told me these suggestions, I then went and re-read many of my essays which I have written for this class, and found a common theme between most of them: they all possesed many of the errors that he pointed out on. In the future, I will surely not make these same mistakes.

He also corrected some gramatical mistakes that I made, and I was very thankful for that.

Lesson 11 Blog

My experience summarizing my readings was sub-par. While working on annotating articles, I apparently found almost all of the articles pertaining to my topic. I had to search for an unprecedented amount of time looking for three new articles for this lesson. Fortunately, I found three good articles, one of which showed me a completelly new perspective that I had previously not realized existed. It provided me with a large amount of new possible material that I could use for my research paper.
Other than having a very hard time finding new articles to read, my experience researching these articles was good. The subject matter in most of the articles is very intrigueing to me. It has really shown me how much athletes are overpaid.
I attepmpted to search in the library for books on my subject, but I was unable to find any specifiacally relating to my topic.
In one of the articles I read it showed the top 50 earning athletes from 2007. Some of the amounts of money they made were completely astounding to me. The way their income was calculated was money from their contract plus money from endorsements. I am okay with the money they make from endorsements, but some of their contracts were absolutely ridiculous. From the four major pro sports, Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez from the New York Yankees were to of the highest paid athletes just form their salaries. They each earned 22 millions dollars a year. I know that becoming a professional athlete is incredibly difficult, and being a top athlete is even harder, but is good athlete really worth 22 million like A-rod and Derek Jeter?
Researching this subject really opened my eyes to how corrupt some professional athletes really are. They are supposed to play for "the love of the game," but some of them strictly play for money. Ty law, formerly of the New England Patriots, is a good example of this. His contract guarenteed him 7 million dollars in this year, and he demanded that his contract was bigger because he needed to "feed his family." Not all, in fact most athletes are not corrupt like this, but because of the way pro sports are set up today it has made people like Ty Law think they are deserving of a higher amount of money, when they are really not. I think he will be able to feed his family just fine with his guarenteed 7 million dollars.
Lastly, I just wanted to reiterate the point that the research I have conducted has shown me that top end pro athletes are not deserving of the contracts that they recieve. Most of the minimum salaries in the top four pro sports are around $600,000, and I think that these athletes would be able to live a perfectly happy life making this money.

Lesson 10 Journal

Well, since I was given permission to write about WHATEVER I wanted, I will write about the one thing that I am closest to: music.

Music has a way of affecting me that nothing else in this world does. Through my 18 years of life, I have experienced a great deal of things that bring me enjoyment, but nothing compares to music. It has a way of bringing you out of a bad mood like nothing else. It also has a way of healing. It is the only thing in life that I can say I am truly passionate about.

I am a guitar player and I write my own songs. Im not going to sit here and say i'm the best guitar player or songwriter in the world, but I think my songs are pretty decent. But that is besides the fact. Because they are MINE, I love them. It is an extremely hard concept for me to put into words, but writing a song is the most amazing feeling in the world.

I also love sports. I played hockey for 13 years and it was a huge part of my life. But a song can do something that watching a game cannot. Music can literally change peoples lives, and a song can directly impact that person. Yet again, my inability to be articulate doesn't let me show exactly what I am trying to say. But I believe music is the single most powerful tool on this planet, and in the right hands, it can change lives for the better like it has changed mine :)

Lesson 9 Journal

First off I need to start writing the paper. Once I get started writing the paper, my words will flow out like they always do. Also, I need to start conducting more research. I am writing this journal entry before I do lesson 9, so that is why I have not conducted much research yet.

I will need outside help with editing my paper. Normally, I am not very good at evaluating and editing my own work, so this is why I will need outside help. Also, I may need outside help on finding credible sources for my research. An outside opinion never hurts.

The reason I am scared of this research paper is because I put it off until the last minute. This is the first online class I have ever taken, and I have procrastinated a great deal, which was a very bad idea. I am also scared of this paper because it will be the biggest research paper that I have ever written.

Lesson 8 Journal

In Jean Kilbourne's essay "Two Ways A Woman Can Get Hurt," she implemented advertisements that generally would not be deemed acceptable by an average person with moral standards. In other words, she uses advertisements that are very risque. On page 421, one of these risque advertisements displays a man pressing a woman against a wall from behind, and she has her arms wrapped behind him and her head turned up towards the ceiling. The image does not seem to advertise anything, which defeats the purpose of having the ad in the first place. They are not promoting the clothes worn by the man and women in the advertisement, they are promoting the attitude that men do not take no for an answer. The significance of the article is that they are not promoting clothes.

I could not find an article with a graphic included, so I found this graphic instead. It represents what the article written by John Gugie is referring to. In his article "Are Professional Athletes Overpaid?" he writes about how in his opinion, professional athletes salaries are too much for the jobs they do. I believe this image is ineffective in swaying my veiw on this topic. This is because I was already a firm believer that pro athletes are overpaid.

I apologize but I was unable to figure out how to save the thesis exercise as a document, so I will just provide the link to the page. https://classes.uaf.edu/webapps/portal/frameset.jsp?tab_id=_2_1&url=%2fwebapps%2fblackboard%2fexecute%2flauncher%3ftype%3dCourse%26id%3d_66520_1%26url%3d

If that did not work, I scored an 8/10 on the exercise.

Lesson 7 Journal

In my essay, I am directing it towards those who are against unions.

My thesis is, "Unions are a relevant and integral part of the U.S.'s economy, and although some think they are outdated, they are not." Yes, my essay includes a claim and three supporting reasons to make it a strong thesis.

Yes, I believe my audience can be swayed by my claim and reasons because in my opinion, my supporting details provide enough evidence to show the benefits of unions.

Yes, my sources have value. I believe this because got them from trustworthy websites (not blogs and other websites of that nature). My audience will trust my sources because they are from reliable websites.

I read Meredith Hazen's blog. I did not make any comments because I felt as if she answered all of the questions correctly for this journal entry.

Lesson 6 Journal

The cartoon on page 227 is clearly attempting to show the dangers that children and teenagers face while being on Internet chat rooms. In the cartoon, a small girl is standing in front of an open door. On the actual door, there is text saying "Internet Chat Rooms." Beyond the door there are an abundance of eyes staring down on the little girl. The eyes ask her, "Knock knock" and she replies, "Who's there?" One thesis statement could be: There are many problems in today’s world concerning internet chat room predators and children/teenagers, and it is imperative that we protect our kids from these predators. For me, the cartoon was incredibly easy to understand. Even though there were very few words involved, it was very easy to see that the eyes represented the chat room predators, and the girl represented the children that are so vulnerable to these predators.

This cartoon is attempting to show the problem that most republicans have with their children "coming out of the closet". It is also trying to show how the typical American family today still frowns upon their children being gay. This cartoon was also very easy to figure out. The elephant obviously represents a Republican, the newspaper and the look on his face tell us how society feels about gays, and the "tap tap's" coming from the closet are the gays feeling as if they cannot come out of the closet due to them not being accepted by society. A possible thesis statement could be: Due to a majority of today's society frowning upon the lifestyle of gays, the gays feel that if they come out of the closet, they will not be accepted.

Lesson 5 Journal

Do any other students seem to have a hard time just getting started on the Essays or Assignments? Because honestly, that is the hardest part for me. I'm not talking about finding the motivation to do the assignments or essays, i'm talking about completing the first paragraph or getting the thesis or topic sentence started.

The free write has been the most helpful tool for generating ideas for my essays because normally I sit there and question everything I am thinking, and in the free write I don't question anything I write, I just write. During lesson 3 I used the free write method to help me remember the main points of the two stories we were told to read.

I have learned that there is a lot of work that goes into writing a good paper. I previously did not know this. I also learned that I need to use the pre-writing strategies more.

I have learned that you (the instructor, Romina Kline) expect me to not only become a good writer, but a disciplined writer. You expect us to not make any mistakes as far as punctuation and grammar goes, along with other things.

Lesson 4 Journal

I used my old high school hockey coach Shawn Lundgren and my friend/ex-teammate Phillip Clifton as my two sources. Lundgren was the main person who helped me realize that I was a lead by example type guy, and not a vocal leader. Phil helped me realize that I needed to start believing in my talents. Lundgren saw me every day, and heard my attempts at being a vocal leader. He quickly realized that it was not my forte, and needed to realize that just leading by example was enough. Phil was with me the throughout the whole tournament. He wasn't technically there, but I talked to him every day and he helped me realize that I needed to start believing in my talents.

I found the blind free write and pro-con list the most useful. Each of these strategies helped me come up with new and improved ideas for my essay.

I would most likely write an argument dealing with blogs and postings to chat rooms and electronic bulletin boards. This is because it is the place where I would most likely be able to argue with my peers, which I would like to do. Another reason is because I would feel more comfortable writing this kind of argument due to my experience on the web.

I asked my father to make recommendations about my revising process because at his job, he deals with writing and revising documents every day.

An argument is a process when two or more parties seek the best answer to a question or problem. An argument is a product when we look at each persons contribution to the conversation.

The goal of an argument is to show that a proposition is true.

Journal Entry Lesson 3

Today the state of Arizona passed a law stating that people with concealed weapons permits will be allowed to carry their guns into bars and restaurants. Bars and restaurants have the option of putting up signs banning guns in their establishments. If one was to bring a gun into the bar or restaurant, they would not be allowed to consume alcohol. The law was put in place to allow people with concealed weapons permits to have the option of protecting themselves inside the bars and restaurants.

Only time will tell as to whether or not this law will be good or bad for the people.

My first blog...EVER

Well i'm not quite used to this whole blogging thing yet. Maybe one day I will learn the ways of the master bloggers...

......to be continued